Drove the G12 BMW 750i, is opulence 

"BREADwagon" (BREADwagon) 11/02/2015 at 23:14 • Filed to: None

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I got an email about a month ago from BMW to check out a “culinary and driving experience.” There was also mention of free cocktails and the new 750, so I did what every other Opponaut would do....signed up immediately then tried to figure out how much a kidney sells for on the black market.

A coworker and I made the trek downtown, and saw 10 or so brand spankin’ new G12s lined up on the street. It was a beautiful sight to behold! I held back my giddiness as I signed in and got my hand stamped. I was just waiting for them to look me in the eye and tell me I didn’t belong there...

I walked over to someone with a clipboard that looked important, then they immediately whisked me away to an idling 7 series. I sat there, in the most comfortable seat I ever sat in, with that scared feeling of excitement in the pit of my stomach...akin to the feeling of a first date.

I waited for a BMW rep to come into the car before I set off, but they just waved me on. Confused, I rolled down the window and asked if someone was going to ride with me. The rep just laughed and said “just take it around the block a couple of times, we know where you live!”

Is this a trick? Did they just give me full reign of this magnificent beast? Did I really have the ability to just GTA this perfect machine across country lines?

They waved me on.

I gingerly pressed the throttle, and the speedy marshmallow effortlessly glided along. I said to myself “whatever you do, don’t scratch it.”

I made a right turn, and had a few hundred feet before the red light...the car felt much smaller than its actual dimensions. “Let’s drive directly over this pothole”, I thought to myself.

Did I hit it? I didn’t feel it. Oh, this section of street is cobble....but I don’t feel it. Let’s speed up.....

There’s nothing but the distant pitter-patter of the suspension soaking up every single imperfection of the poor excuse for a road.

I start to laugh maniacally. I am invincible inside my quiet metallic womb...isolated from the rough and dirty street.

Let’s give it the beans. Not too much, just a dab.

It’s.....perfect.

I’m back at the staging area. It went too quick! I open the door, and get hit in the face with the noise of the city....I’m back to reality.

As I walk to the building for some free cocktails, I turn and look at the car.

I won’t have you for sometime...decades...but I will have you.

And it will be good.

Rico > BREADwagon 11/03/2015 at 09:04

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This was great to read! Not overly wordy but you really sort of set the tone and made it easy to imagine. Also if you’re in Jersey come to the Oppo meet on 11/15.

BREADwagon > Rico 11/03/2015 at 09:08

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Thanks! Where in NJ?

Rico > BREADwagon 11/03/2015 at 11:29

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Supposed to be in High Point State Park in Sussex, people are meeting there between 11AM-3PM. I’m like 99% sure I’m going unless something comes up at work.

Sky Higa > BREADwagon 11/22/2015 at 20:55

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seeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww ffuuuuuaaaaaaaancyyyy